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Thursday, 19 July 2007

Currently Listening
Good Girl Gone Bad
By Rihanna
Rehab
see related
Equilibrium

Been awhile. My bad. I seem to be too busy living life to think about or record it. I'll get it together.
Still working in NY. I like my job. I could never see myself doing it for the rest of my life, but for right now, I'm content. I'm really anxious to get back to school before it's too late. I know myself. If I wait too long it'll never happen. So by the absolutely latest, I hope to be in school by next fall. And that's really a long way away so hopefully by giving myself an extended deadline, I'll get in gear and try to beat my own goal.
Family is good. Everyone's healthy for the most part. My house is in shambles, but we're trying to fix that. I'm also trying to convince my parents to rent the house to me and one of my girls when they finally decide to move. It seems like a wonderful plan. I still have to hammer out some more details before I actually make my official pitch. But it's a win-win situation. Well sort of...I kind of win more, so I'm trying to even that out cuz my parents have sacrificed enough for me dammit.
I have a new boyfriend. He's great! It's weird though. All the things I always wanted from Mr. Wrong and his successors I get from him and it's so overwhelming. I've grown so accustomed to settling for the next best thing that now that I actually have the best thing, I dunno what to do with it. Being a girlfriend again is taking some getting used to. I'm all of sudden very aware of myself. All the things I've grown accustomed to about myself, personality traits, quirks, insecurities, etc., I now worry about again. Well, worry isn't really the right word, but it's all I can think of right now. But whatever, I'm not gonna let silly things get in the way of me enjoying being happy for a change. A lot easier said than done, but I have to at least give it a try lol.
Starting this new relationship has been wonderful, but also scary. It's made me come to terms with some things in my past that I either ignored or didn't realize were happening. One of the most annoying being how strong my feelings actually were for the last guy. It was a long time ago, but I got played -- hard. And instead of allowing myself to grive and properly get over it, I just told myself that it wasn't that serious and I had to move on. Which was easy to do considering I was still in school and working and in charge of a whole bunch of crap that consumed all of my time. But now I realize that was really just a cop-out. Since I've now properly addressed the situation instead of ignoring it, my heart feels truly healed and ready to love and be loved again. Just like that. And to think, all it took was to admit to myself that feelings were there. Then they were just like ok, now that we've been acknowledged, we're out. Peace. Incredible I tell you.
Another thing that I totally knew about myself but I guess never got burned badly enough to make me pay attention is my trusting personality. I get comfortable with people quickly. I'm very trusting and I give everything of myself for people I care about, which is often too many people. Well, unfortunately, I've been in more than one situation recently where people that I considered close friends didn't quite act like it. I'll take the blame for my side. There are things that I've said or done that I'm not proud of or that if I had a second chance might not have said or done, but isn't that the case with everyone?? I'm human. I fuck up every once in awhile. Sue me! Anyway, I've had to do some soul searching and decide to cut some people out my life or at least from my inner circle. I had to take sort of a friend inventory and realize which of my friends are really friends and which of those should've been demoted to the acquaintance list a minute ago. That was hard. But the harder part for me, someone who doesn't know how to hold a grudge, is going to be following through. I don't want to be a hypocrite, but I have a tendency to just ignore things I don't like about people and easily forgive, which is part of the reason that I get into these situations in the first damn place. So I have to learn that I can forgive without forgetting. And I really have to start learning from my mistakes and stop putting myself into the same situations. I'm working on being a better me. I have a LONG way to go, but I see changes already and I'm happy about that. Caring about yourself first makes a huge difference. I feel it mentally and physically.
So now, when I don't feel like doing something, I don't do it. The old me would've pasted a smile on her face and went out cuz she was begged to. Not anymore dammit. When I wanna stay in my house and watch TV that's what the fuck I'm gonna do. No other explanation necessary. I'm tired of compromising for others and getting nothing back in return. There are a handful of people that God put in my life that I know make me a better person. They are the people I'm concerned with. Everyone else, I'll get to when I get to.
It's frustrating to think that if I invested as much time and energy into myself as I've been investing in other people that I'd probably be a lot better off than I am right now. But everything happens for a reason. I'm learning. I'm growing. I'm changing. And I think that it's all for the better. I'm in a good place right now. I'm happy. It's a new feeling. Now I know that all those other times I thought or said I was happy, I really wasn't lol. Glad I know what it really feels like now.

Friday, 02 February 2007

Currently Watching
Sex and the City - The Complete First Season
By Sarah Jessica Parker, Kristen Davis
see related
Random Stuff

http://www.betterloverseminar.com/desi_wife_catches_husband.php
GO HERE NOW! This is by far one of the funniest things I've ever heard. Please listen to the whole thing and then play it over again any time you're having a bad day lol.
There's a 7ft 9 guy from China here to play basketball. I think if I cloned myself and stood on my own shoulders I could probably look him in the eye. http://msn.foxsports.com/other/story/6429134?MSNHPHMA. Can you imagine being that tall? The world would be such a difficult place to live in. Things are not made for people at the extremes. You gotta be average or someplace close to it to get by in this place. Forget ducking through doorways, this poor guy must have to crawl. Clothes are probably impossible to find in his size. Girls are probably afraid of him. He can't take the subway or other public transportation. How would he even drive? Cars are already uncomfortable for people over 6'5! Sheesh. Poor guy.
The "terror" scare in Boston the other day was crazy. I know I'm gettin old too cuz the first thing I thought of when I heard about all the cops and bomb squads, etc. being deployed was how much of my tax money that costed. I seriously think Turner should have to face some serious monetary penalty at the very least. Because really, sending out all those people and blowing up the little light up thingy probably costed the amount of someone's annual salary! The weirdest thing was the guys that they arrested though. They were so strange. One had dreads which already puts him on my list cuz white ppl w/ dreads = yuck! The other strange thing was the fact that this was apparently done in other cities, including NY and Chicago. How come only Boston authorities recognized it? http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16941043/
On Thursday's Hardball, Sen. Joe Biden defended describing Sen. Barack Obama as "the first mainstream African-American who's articulate, bright and clean and a nice-looking guy."
"I wasn't making a historical statement," Biden said on Hardball. "I was trying to compliment a colleague."
Who would take that statement as a compliment?!?! Anybody? No, I didn't think so. Maybe you meant it as a compliment to Barack, but how bout you just shit on the rest of his race! What the hell do you mean he's the first mainstream African-American who's articulate? Are you kidding me? Give me a break. What an ass. And he has the audacity to be running against him for the Democratic Presidential bid. No fucking way buddy. Why is anyone else even trying. Just let Hil and Barack handle their biz. Personally, I think Hil should take 2008 and Barack should wait a few years. He's a first time senator and although he's had some political experience, we don't need an amateur feeling his way around the White House in the middle of wartime. Hil's good. She lived in that house for 8 years. All she has to do is hang her pictures back up, jump into the Oval Office and get to work. Maybe they could run together as Prez/VP. How ill would that be to have a female prez and a black VP? Honestly I don't even think people could handle it.
Anywho, back to work I go.
~Peace~

Tuesday, 30 January 2007

Currently Listening
Too Bad
By Buju Banton
see related
I succumbed to the ignorance!

I promised Iheanyi that I'd try to watch I Love NY this week. So last night, I sat down in front of my TV with an open mind. Luckily for me, they replayed last weeks episode so I got to see Pootie's break down. E, you were right, pure comedy. I watched 2 eps of I Love NY & then got sucked into the white rapper show and when I tell u I laughed for 3 hours straight, I'm not lying! The highlight of my 3 hour ignorance-fest had to be a drunk 12-pack doing the robot in some leopard print speedos! HILARIOUS! I think that his partner in crime, Heat I think his name is, is secretly gay or maybe he just has a really big man-crush on 12-pack. And it's not often that I agree with NY, but that fool is crazy and unstable. Mr. Boston's lap dance was also entertaining as was his lack of effort in building the dog house! I'm upset that Whiteboy was so mad at Tango for takin a break for his splinter. CLEARLY he's never had a splinter before. Those things hurt like hell and they can get infected and your whole damn finger can fall off (in the most extreme case of course lol)paper cuts are like that too. They can feel like a damn migraine in your finger. So I know you've been tellin me Chance has a brother on the show Iheanyi, but I couldn't figure out who it was until they pointed it out last nite. WOW...talk about different. I like them though. I think Chance, Real and Tango are the frontrunners. Even though NY's mama is feelin Boston's economic status but whatever. I don't remember if it was Onix or not, but somebody finally said somethin about NY's mom's big ass forehead and I just wanted to yell Halleluia Hollaback(this won't be funny to u if u haven't seen the white rapper show, but I think it should be the new phrase that pays)!!
In other news, I applied for another job last week. Unfortunately I'm still broke and this one job business isn't cuttin it. So I'm gonna try to get a part time job on the weekends. If I get one, you probably won't hear from me for awhile as I'll be exhausted and trying not to die.
I got caught the other day in a ploy by some guy tryna holla. I swear I'm too nice. So I get off the train and I'm waitin for my mom and this guy asks me if he can use my phone b/c he slept past his stop and needs to tell his brother to come pick him up here. So I hand over my phone and he makes his call and thanks me. And I continue to wait for my mom. So we're standing there and the broken convo goes like this...
Man: I'm ??(wasn't listening), What's your name?
Me: Marissa (I never tell strangers my first name)
(brief silence)
Man: So where do u live?
Me: Excuse me?
Man: I thought maybe I could give u a ride home when my ride gets here.
Me: Oh no thats ok, my ride's already on the way.
Man: Do you live far from here?
Me: (totally falling into his re-wording trap b/c its cold and i'm aggravated that my mom didn't leave the house when i told her to) No, I live right by the high school.
Man: Oh that's not too far from me.
(silence)
Man: So where do u work?
Me: In NY
Man: I work for a film company, what do u do?
Me: I work in publishing.
Man: Where did u go to school?
Me: Boston
Man: Which school in Boston?
Me: BU
Man: What was your major?
~my mom pulls up...FINALLY...as I'm walking to the car...
Man: Well since I have your number, can I call you sometime?
Me: No.
Man: Why not?
Me:
i just got in the car and proceeded to scream on my mom for being late and forcing me to be subjected to interrogation by some weirdo!
I don't understand. I'm attractive, fun, intelligent, etc., etc. Why is it that I only attract weirdos?!?! UGH! At this rate, Operation: Find a new boo for 2007 is going to fail miserably!
So I hear Brandy might go to jail for vehicular manslaughter. Yikes!
Ok that's all I've got for you....Back to work!
~Peace!

Wednesday, 24 January 2007

Currently Watching
House, M.D. - Season Two
By House
see related

A few weeks ago, my uncle passed. At the cemetary, my parents and I were shocked to see that instead of being buried in his own little hole in the ground, my uncle was placed in a ravine looking thing many feet below the earth, next to a line of other caskets. This concerned me so I struck up a convo with one of the dirt digger guys (who by the way tried to pull a wedding crashers and get my number! i can't believe ppl do that in real life!). Anywho, homeboy told me that sometimes when it rains, the caskets shift so when you come back to visit the grave site of your loved one, they could be a few feet down the lane! I was like OMG that's ridiculous.
So a few weeks has gone by and this little revelation has really been buggin me and my dad. My dad's decided that America doesn't treat their dead right and he wants to be buried in Jamaica. My mom wants to be cremated and placed in my living room. I was like mom don't you remember Meet the Parents?!? I will not be vaccuuming you out of my rug! She still wants to be cremated she just hasn't decided where she wants to be placed. Anywho, I thought about it and realized I really couldn't be angry with the burial process. They're running out of space, they have to be creative. Honestly, when's the last time you saw a new cemetary open up? You haven't passed by any land with a sign saying Coming Soon: Brand New Cemetary! No, all we do is build, build, build. It's like people don't want to see open land anymore. I'm like people didn't you have 5th grade science?!? Don't you remember photosynthesis? We need the trees to make oxygen so we don't all die! Anyways, my dad's next crazy idea was to buy a few acres of land and make his own cemetary. I swear sometimes I have to talk to God to make sure my daddy's really sane. The stuff that comes out his mouth sometimes can only be described as pure comedy.
I haven't been watchin I Love NY. I just can't get into it. I think I figured out why. The girls on Flav's show all seemed genuinely ignorant. Like I watched them and laughed because I knew everything they said or did on the show, they'd do at home in their own hood. But these guys all seem like hired actors. Maybe its just that their ignorance is sooooooo unbelievable that I can't fathom real grown people acting like them and saying some of the foolishness that they release from their mouths. Nothing about the show seems genuine. It all comes across staged to me. I'll give it another try thought cuz I heard homeboy cryin about being broke in the commercial and it did look kinda funny lol.
I've been sorta boycotting TV lately b/c they keep cancelling my shows. But I think we're getting back to our good old loving relationship. I started watching this show Dirt on FX with Courtney Cox(Monica from Friends). It's hilarious. It's not supposed to be a comedy b/c its about the publishing of an US Weekly/People-type magazine and how they get all their gossip and stuff to print. Rick Fox is on it and he plays a basketball player who's supposed to be this all-American dude with a family and such and on the first episode, a photographer catches him with some hooker. And if that's not enough, Rick actually has the hooker put on a strap-on and hit him from the back!! Yea, I know. It was a bit traumatizing, especially since they showed his butt cheek on TV. I was like omg this seems like it should be on HBO. But I think its a pretty good show. It seems like it's the Entourage of the gossip magazine world.
I read this article this morning about a famiily and their unruly daughter gettin kicked of a plane and I was so pissed b/c the family is actually complaining. Their daughter was crawling under the seat and wouldn't sit down so the flight couldn't take off. That's why the crew asked them to get off the plane. I can't believe that people are still blaming other people when they don't raise their kids right. Teach your kid some damn manners and maybe you won't be kicked off a plane!
Here's the article...http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16773655/
Oh and this story is so unbelievable I can't even talk about it, please just go look for yourself lol ...thanks for the link Mel http://www.mosnews.com/news/2005/03/22/miraclesurgery.shtml
~Peace!

Saturday, 13 January 2007

Currently Listening
The Evolution of Robin Thicke
By Robin Thicke
see related
Happy (i know its kinda belated) New Year!

New Year's Eve was sensational! All the time, planning, emails, phone calls, text msgs, frustration, rage, annoyance and MONEY was worth it. Seeing old friends was the best. Here's a few pics
Me in my New Year's best...

My girls Sharon & Aria...clearly after a few drinks

This is my footloose and fancy free pic...the old year is gone, time to start fresh!

Anywho, my lovely skills of organization got my friends to come from NY, NJ, Boston, Philly, Atlanta and Bermuda! We had an amazing time drinkin, dancin and just generally actin a fool. Sometimes you don't realize how much you miss people until you see them again. The hotel we stayed at was called Affinia 50. I recommend everyone stay there or at one of their other locations around NY or in Chicago at least once in your life b/c it was the best ever. Definitely gonna be hard to out-do this NYE...but we'll def give it a try again next year lol!
So in honor of the New Year, I've decided to set some new goals for myself. Not resolutions, goals. I don't really want to change things, just make them better. These are just some things I'd like to accomplish by the year's end:
1 - Get as much out of debt as possible. That's gonna mean cutting down on all the eating out and other entertainment spenditure. I can handle that though, I have Netflix.
2 - Save more $$ ( I know this kinda seems like it'll work in opposition to #1, but I'll figure it out)
3 - Save enough $$ to get my own dwelling place by this time next year
4 - Get in shape...I need to start eating properly, taking my vitamins, sleeping more, seeing a doctor regularly, just generally taking better care of myself
5 - Get back to school...not ready for Med school just yet, but there's a program through my job that I'm looking into that would get me an MBA and my company would foot the bill. Like my boss said, it would be kinda dumb of me to forfeit a free degree!
6 - Rekindle my relationship with God.
7 - Get a massage!
8 - Learn how to drive stick...yes, I said Learn b/c the last time I drove stick was in high school and it wasn't even my car. I wasn't that bad at it, but I'm sure now I'd def be stallin all up and down the road.
9 - Evaluate, Organize and Improve my life...by my life I mean the things in it (my clothes, shoes, music, finances, friendships, you know all my worldly posessions lol)
10 - Go on a vacation
11 - Find a male companion...I swore off guys after my last "thing" and decided to continue on that path until I got my life together. Well, things have settled and stabled so I think its safe to be "single and ready to mingle" now instead of "single and lovin it".
12 - Start dancing again...as in dance classes. I miss it...a lot. I live and work in a premiere dance location so the only thing stopping me from dancing is myself.
New topic...MUSIC!
So, most of you know how I have a love/hate relationship with the recording industry and the crap they try to pass off as music. Well when American music started pissing me off, I decided to revisit my roots...Reggae. And let me tell you I have yet to be disappointed. I can't even friggin keep up with these damn people. There's a new song, dance or riddim out like every other day and they're all quality! It's been helping me a lot though because since I don't listen to the radio or watch videos as much as I used to, now when I hear new American music, it's not so blah and monotonous cuz I haven't heard the song or seen the video ten times.
Last night I saw Robin Thicke in concert at the Canal Room in NYC. He's so dreamy! It was a really great show. I'm just mad that he did my favorite song on the whole CD(I Need Love - #9) while I was still standing outside in line waiting to get in b/c the bouncer was in a bad mood! Whatever, I still heard every it, just wished I could've seen it. He's the greatest ever and I can't wait to see him again. I dunno when that's gonna be but I hope its soon. I'll post pics later.
That's all for now. I gotta go get some laundry done. Yes, I'm doin laundry on a Saturday night. I'm grown...Respect me.
~Peace~